It goes along with the intrusive thoughts. I spend A LOT of time thinking about every dumb, awkward, weird, bad joke, stupid story, and just bad interaction I’ve ever had with anyone and everyone. Seriously, I can remember ones from as early as my elementary school years. I can get completely lost just in over analyzing my past interactions with people and what I should have done differently. I have fights with strangers in my head while I’m in the shower, I’ll lie awake at night thinking of the joke I made in class, thinking that everyone’s brain works like mine, and that in landed flat ass on the floor in the middle of the room with not a single smile. I’m getting uncomfortable thinking about it now. In that article they say to give it 7 seconds, and then let that shit go. Easy enough right? Sure, if it’s just the one thing you’re thinking about. What if, like me you have a WHOLE LIFETIME of shit that you still think about and dwell on?
I’ve gotten up to 50 seconds of trying to let it go. Counting and breathing. Just trying to think about literally ANYTHING else. But then another shitty thought pops in and takes the place of the last one. All of a sudden I’m on a train of bad memories and it’s totally out of control. Maybe I can chalk this one up to Megan.
I’m still working on a good way to deal with these. The Megan idea is helping but not as much as the medication. I’d love to not take medication for anxiety one day. Here’s hopin’ I get there soon.