About This Train Wreck

All aboard this train wreck

I am a 30 (ish) year old woman living in South Carolina. I am trying to self help my way through depression and an anxiety disorder. I read blogs, subreddits,  forums, listen to podcasts, take advice from professionals and read cheesy self help books. I believe I can learn anything from the Internet and by just trying and failing and then trying again.

“Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn.”

Along the way, I discovered how much I enjoy working in my little balcony garden and collecting house plats of all shapes and sizes. It’s no secret that being in nature helps ease the mind and the body. A good friend once told me that your heart chakra is green, and the best way to heal your heart is to seek nature. So here I am, seeking so hard.

This is my journey to getting my mind right.

I used to describe my mind state as a train wreck. It was a bad wreck, 30 years in the making of inaction, failure to operate under any safe guidelines and recklessly endangering myself. The bodies have been pulled from the wreckage. The big fires are all out now. It’s just a twisted mess of metal and debris. There is still smoke, still coals burning hot, and still a black box to be found. (Do they put those on trains? Whatever. This is my metaphor.) ¬†That’s what I’m working on. Those long burning coals. The ones that wont go out. Some days are easier than others. Hell, some weeks or even months are great. But those coals are still there, burning on like Centralia, PA.

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